How Could You Turn Your Baby Away?!

Today is day 7 of PRIDE month and I have been seeing a lot of Facebook posts about loving people in the LGBTQ community even though their family doesn’t.  And that’s something I never could understand; no longer loving your child.

Explain to me how you could carry a life inside of you for nine months, hear his heartbeat, fall in love with his kicks and jolts, name him, cry as he is handed to you in the birthing room and still turn him away because he is either gay or trans.  How do you celebrate countless birthday parties, watch as Christmas gifts are open, cheer for the Honor Roll, kiss the boo boo’s, and dry the tears only to say, “you’re not welcome here”?  I can not even fathom thinking that if anyone mistreats my child, it’s a wrap and then be the main one to cast them out.  How?

I understand you raised your son or daughter to be heterosexual, but parents have nothing to do with sexuality.  I know that you planned their whole life before they were born and you pictured them going to prom with that handsome guy or pretty girl.  You may have even pictured juggling soccer practice with homework and other extracurriculars.  Maybe you would have to yell because the band in the garage is too loud and they aren’t very good.  Maybe you come home one day to someone you have to chase out of the house because your daughter fell for some little boys lies.

And now, after the infamous “Coming Out” speech, you realize those things you forsaw are never going to happen.  And sure, that hurts.  But remember when you found out you were expecting?  And you said, “I cant be the same person anymore.  I cant do what I’ve been doing because I have another life to think about”.  It’s the same thing now.  Your baby just told you that he or she is different.  And this world is going to try its hardest to defeat them, grind them up and turn them into nothing.  Your child just made themselves a target for a hate crime and your response was, “Get out!”, “not in my house!”, “How could you do this to me?”.

Are they no longer your child?  The baby that you loved so much?  One conversation transformed them into a demon, an outsider.  The person that was supposed to love them the most, proudly exclaimed, “I do not love you anymore”; whether you used those words or not.  You cast them to the monsters of the world.  Why?  That’s no longer your blood?  That’s not still the same being that was connected to you by an umbilical cord for 9 months?  That you fed via your breast?  That you cried over when he left for the first day of school?  He transformed right in front of you to someone you never even met.  Impossible!

WASHINGTON, DC – MARCH 27: Two same sex couples kiss in front of Westboro Baptist Church protesters, at the U.S. Supreme Court, on March 27, 2013 in Washington, DC. Today the high court is scheduled to hear arguments on whether Congress can withhold federal benefits from legally wed gay couples by defining marriage as only between a man and a woman. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

The world is too harsh and life is too short for you to reject or deny your offspring.  Call them, text them, even if its only for 5 minutes.  Even if its the only time you call this year.  Just call.  And if they don’t answer, leave a message.  Explain that you don’t know why you feel the way that you do about their choices but you love them.  And you hope that the evil of the world hasn’t tainted their spirit.

That one phone call will mean everything to SOMEBODY.

And if you are someone who has been cast out and you’re reading this, know that you will always have a friend in Zion.  I love each and every one of you!  If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me at any time.

Book Review: I’m Free! 30 Days To A Stress Free Life!

I’m Free!  30 Days To A Stress Free Life!

Authoress Tee Renee

August 16th, 2016

50 pages




I received 30 Days To A Stress Free Life yesterday evening and I am already done reading.  But, that does not mean that I am finished with the book.  If you have been reading my book reviews, you already are aware of how hard I can judge these books and authors.  I have no intentions on deteriorating the egos of my peers but instead, wish to assist in their improvement in this craft.  So, there is no shock that I immediately was disappointed in the size of the piece sent to me.  50 pages?  Really?  But, in the first chapter, I quickly realized that the Authoress had something to say and she did not come to play games.

I find that when people publish these small self-help books (or collaboration of pages, as I like to call them), they really just throw a bunch of words down onto a piece of paper, upload to the first self-publisher to pop up on their Google search and slap a price tag on it. And I judge them the harshest. If you dare to call yourself an author, at least be capable enough to have your “book” next to ours on the bookshelves. But, Renee carefully laid out her major points, supporting points, introduction, conclusion, sources and the entire body of work was uniform. Ugh! I love a uniform layout. I loathe when an “author” has a “book” full of unnecessary italicized and bold words, irrelevant quotes, in-consecutive paragraph layouts, fonts and font sizes!  I could go on!  Thankfully, I don’t have to because, Renee proved that she knew what she was doing.

My favorite chapter was Chapter 5 Money Matters.  A good portion of my stress derives from financial situations.  Being an author and personal chef, my income can be very unpredictable.  Tee Renee, however, supplied me with seven very good tips to follow.  Her book is full of activities to do as you read along but, on my first read through, I only stopped here.  Tip #6: Try living off of 80% of your income.  I loved that!  My brother has been trying to get me to live by the 70-10-10-10 rule.  Live off the 70%, 10% goes to charity/ tithes, 10% you invest and 10% you invest in yourself.  Tee Renee says, live off of 80%, 10% tithes, 10% savings.  I love them both.

Like I said, I am in no way done with this book.  It definitely deserves a few re-reads and calls for your attention as well.  Authoress Tee Renee, I give I’m Free!  30 Days To A Stress Free Life! 5 out of 5 stars.

Fat Be Gone tour; the final Performance (Day 13 of the Tour/ Day 11 of the Fast)

Day 13 of Being Healthy/ Day 11 of the Fast

“The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” ~Al Neuharth

Sooooo, ya girl lost nine futha muckin pooooouuuunds!  Am I hype?  Of course!  I been walking around the house wearing nothing but my balling shorts aver since I got back from the gym.  But, I’m not going to lie.  The only reason I weighed myself is because I fell off the wagon.  So, let me explain what’s been going on.

So, Day 7, my trainer had to cancel because there was a power surge in the gym.  That day I spent a little extra time walking my dog.

Day 8, I got off work at 5:30 Am, I walked the dog till about 6:12 AM and when I woke up, it was 7:28AM.  I was supposed to be at the gym at 7.

Day 9, I skipped my morning workout to go look for a doctor because I couldn’t even work the night before because I was in so much pain.  So, at 27 years old, I have all 4 of my wisdom teeth.  When I was younger, I got braces in the 6th grade.  When it was time to take them off, the orthodontist said he couldn’t because halfway through the process, the insurance company stopped paying and nobody said anything.  So, I didn’t get my braces off till right before I graduated High School.  My orthodontist told me, because I had my braces on for so long, I wont need to get my wisdom teeth pulled.

I had to Laugh when I saw my face!

People only need to get their wisdom teeth pulled because when they grow in, they move the other teeth.  well in 2014, before I moved to GA, I went and saw a dentist and he said, not true.  In my case, the gums are covering my wisdom teeth and food can get back there and I wont be able to get it


out because I cant brush back there.  When the food gets under the gums, it will get infected and it will hurt.  Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, he aint never lied


because everytime this happens, it hurts.  So, day 9, I spent the day looking for an oral surgeon or dentist who would take my teeth out.  I had no luck but instead of driving, I walked all around the city.  That evening I went to the gym and explained everything to Candice and she decided I do treadmill work so every two minutes, I adjusted the incline from 0 to 5 and the speed from 2.5 to 2.0.  Before I was done, my knee started hurting.  And that’s one thing I was so proud of.  My knees haven’t been hurting this whole time.  At work I ate a small bowl of cheese tortellini and two chicken breasts.  In my defense, I was only trying to eat something soft that will fit in my mouth because I couldn’t open it wide.  Well, my right knee started hurting and at  5:30 the next morning, I was barely making it to the car.

So, Day 10, I had to stay home, in the bed, icing my knee.  But, that night, Chef Boyfriend wanted to go out.  As we were leaving the bar, I tripped, my knee gave out and I went down.  The pain was excruciating.  It took me forever to get up and I had to limp to the car.  I couldn’t hang anymore so I dropped Chef Boyfriend off to a friend’s house and I decided to go home and have a night to myself.  But first, I went by the grocery store and at 3am, I was eating two steaks and great northern beans with chorizo.  I know!  I know!

Day 10- Chef Boyfriend made me ramen for lunch

Day 11, … I had more steak and beans for breakfast.  I called Candice and told her what was going on and she said she would think of a solution.

Day 12, …We had steak and spinach for lunch.  I could barely walk without a limp and I was back to how I felt originally.  Knees hurting and using my left leg to assist my right leg.  Candice said, “no good!”  That night Chef Boyfriend said, “let’s cook some wings.”


“How you gone cook them?”


“You don’t need fried food, babe.  Let’s braise them.”


And we had wings and boychoy and pineapple.  After we were done, I remembered he brought me half a burger home from the Vortex.  We both watched the turntable spin in the microwave.  Then we split half a burger topped with peanut butter and a fried plantain.  I know, but, sigh, it gets worse.  We were still hungry so we called Harold’s Chicken and ordered two 6 piece wings platters.  That’s 6 WHOLE WINGS, fries, cole slaw and toast.  And around 3Am, we fell asleep.

So, day 13 was today and I just knew that scale was going to read above 300 pounds.  Lord, I was so nervous.  But, I came down 9 pounds!  I came home and told Chef Boyfriend, no more.  I’m putting myself on a soup and water diet.  He’s excited to make soup so I have to get off of here and make sure the kitchen is clean for when he gets home.

Hope you guys stay encouraged! 126 more days to go!

Day 13 dinner- Seared Salmon, Beaten Kale Greens, Italian Summer Squash, Braised Cabbage

To keep up with The Fat Be Gone Tour from the beginning, click below:

Fat Be Gone Tour: The Final Performance

Fat Be Gone Tour: The Final Performance (Day 2)

Fat Be Gone Tour: The Final Performance (Day 3 of the Tour/ Day 1 of the Fast)

Fat Be Gone Tour: The Final Performance (Who Are You Doing This For?)

Fat Be Gone Tour: The Final Performance (Who Are You Doing This For?)

Day 7 of Being Healthy/ Day 5 of the Fast

“Everyone faces defeat. It may be a stepping-stone or a stumbling block, depending on the mental attitude with which it is faced.” ~Napoleon Hill

Today is Monday.  Friday, I was ready to give up.  That was going to be my blog on Friday.  “Fuck this shit.  Stay tuned for next year’s tour dates.”  But, how many times do you have to be defeated before you finally say enough is enough?  I was looking through some pictures of me from February 2017; when I first met my boyfriend.  And I remember telling him before we met in person, “I’m so fat.  I’ve never been this big before.”  Which was true at the time.  But, now, I’m bigger than that!  And enough is enough.  Although I do not want children at this time, if I were to become pregnant, I would gain so much weight and then I’d be bigger than this.  Bigger than this would be over 300 pounds!  No, No, No!  Women shouldn’t be 300 pounds (in my opinion).  If you’re a sexy, comfortable 300, do you.  But, me, I can’t live that life.

But, today at SEVEN O’ CLOCK IN THE MORNING, I was working out and Candice said, “you have to do this for yourself, Allante.  You can’t do it for anyone else but you.”  And that’s when I asked myself, am I doing this for me?  And the answer was, no.  Like plenty of women, I have started to feel insecure in my relationship.  As normal relationships go, you two get comfortable with each other and your daily routine.  And I had gotten to the point where I was questioning whether my boyfriend liked me or not.  Does he love me?  He damn sure does.  Does he like me?….  I don’t know.  And something I’ve always said, the best part about being plus size when you meet a man is, he falls in love with you as a big girl, the relationship gets kind of funky so, you lose weight and he falls in love again.  If you get pregnant and gain weight, you’re right back to the woman he fell in love with.  So, that’s the plus side to being plus sized. LOL.  But, if I am trying to lose weight to repair my relationship of ONE YEAR, then what will happen if we break up?  Do I gain the weight back?

Next month, my friend, Ashley is getting married and Chef Boyfriend and I will be attending.  I haven’t attended a formal event in a very long time.  And I’ve never attended one with a date.  Hell, this is my first boyfriend in 6 years!  So, do you think I’m going to show up with my stomach knocking against my thighs and my butt looking like I’m toting UPS packages?  No!  Not an option.

March, I’m going to visit my dad who I haven’t seen since August.  I’ve gained weight since that meeting so, I know I have to be AT LEAST the size that he last saw me.

And all of these may seem like nothing to you but in all actuality, that’s wrong.  You, I- we cant do this for anyone but ourselves.  If Chef Boyfriend isn’t happy in our relationship because of my physical appearance, then that’s his business.  Move on!  I was single for five years.  Am I now so desperate to be with a man that I would change myself only to appease him?  No!  And you shouldn’t be either.  I can’t lose weight for someone else’s wedding or to get envious looks from party patrons because, what if, god forbid, the wedding gets called off.  Then what?  Give up?  Not an option.  And I have been trying to lose weight for my father for as long as I can remember.  And the proof is in the pudding.  That never worked.

So, I encourage you today, if you’re going to make a life change.  Do it for yourself and nobody else!  Do ya’ll know that today I did FORTY pushups?  FORTY!!  And they weren’t lil’ girl pushups either.  I almost died but, nobody can feel more enthused about that than me.  I cant even count how many times I turned down sugar and starches.  Proud is an understatement.  #WeGotThis

Chef Boyfriend made me some banana ice cream for the fast!  We put 4 bananas in the freezer (make sure you cut them up first.  I put the whole bananas in the freezer with the peel on and I had to do a lot more work).  In the blender, we put about 1/4 cup of cold milk, some cinnamon and my bananas.  Just blend until smooth and enjoy!  Also holds well in the freezer.

Chef Boyfriend made me a couple of frittata’s. #breakfastinbed


* I included a video and pics of some dishes that Chef Boyfriend prepares to help me through my fast.  Hopefully, they’ll help you because if you’re anything like me, I am so lost when it comes to cooking healthy!

Book Review: When Wrong Feels Wright

When Wrong Feels Wright
By: CheyNaRey
Newark, CA
Smooches Heffa
212 pages

Great read is an UNDERSTATEMENT!

This year, I have planned to do more book reviews. The best thing you can do for an author is review their book. So, on Christmas Day, I decided to gift myself with a few books from my author peers on Instagram. After all, how can you truly support someone if you do not purchase what they are selling?
I picked up my book from the UPS box 4 days ago and could not wait to begin my read. The cover of When Wrong Feels Wright is preciously decorated with sugar plum lip gloss kisses. As an author myself, I do struggle with appropriately marketing my book. When you don’t market properly, you lose a lot of money but, you also learn what isn’t beneficial to your brand. What attracted me to CheyNaRey as an author, was her effortless way of marketing her body of work. All of her fans that purchased the book, took selfies wearing Sugarplum lipgloss! #Perfect. That definitely captivated me to make the purchase. But, as I am a tomboy, I had no intention of wearing purple lipgloss.
When Wrong Feels Wright is about a young woman by the name of Alexandria Miller who ends up dickmatized by the wonderfully endowed Lonnie Wright. Over time, the two fall in love with each other as Lonnie financially catered to Allie and she reciprocated with hypnotizing physical activity. The entrepreneur had only one rule, “no babies”. And his loving demeanor quickly changed to violent when Lonnie became informed of Allie’s pregnancy.
Allie had two best friends, Brielle and Tia. Brielle started off as being my favorite character. She is so full of honesty, “I don’t give a fuck” and straight to it-ness. Tia is a sad sap desperate for affection wherever she can find it. But they’re both very poor examples of true friendship. I ended up hating them both! (You have to read the book to see why.) My favorite characters are Lonnie Wright and Shane, Allie’s younger brother. Shane is the most flamboyant HETERO man but, he reminds me of my best friend… who is homosexual.  In an effort not to spoil the story, I’ll have to leave it at that.
I loved this story. I honestly thought that it would not be as interesting as it was. I have read many manuscripts and novels that were very hard to get through. This one, however, kept me engaged. The only reason why it took me four days to read was because of my hectic schedule. I highly recommend this book. I give it 5/5 stars!